How I’ve been recently…

Hello everybody!

Hope you all have been happy and been having a good time!

I thought I would give you a little update on how I have been recently… (October / November)

To be honest recently has been mixed emotions. I have been depressed and emotionally unstable. I went through a period of not wanting to eat anything then going through another period of wanting to eat everything. I have arguments, I have cried but I have also pulled myself up.

On top of all that I missed a period that brought up a million worries – as you can imagine. I had just started my new pill and had been getting really bad cramps but no period… I was bricking it!

I went through a really bad period of where I wanted to self harm again and never be home. I had to constantly have someone with me as I had no idea what I would do if I was alone..

However I have been doing so much better (other than being really sick and throwing up all the time – mank right?)

But work is going really well – insanely busy, but I feel so comfortable in the office now and I feel like I finally fit in! I love my work ❤

Finally doing better for myself and feel like I am helping people along the way.

I just had to remember through the bad time – that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that things can be better. There is no point of worrying or self harming as it DOES NOT help. 

If any of you guys need help or going through a rough time – I am here if you need to message me. Even if you don’t need to speak to someone please just remember you are worth it! There is nothing worse than feeling useless and nothing.

I hope you all have amazing upcoming weeks and remember CHIRSTMAS IS HERE SOOON! 

Lots of love, Sam x 

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My first job!!

Hello!!

Long time, no speak… I have a good excuse for taking a break from social media and my blog, honestly!

I have just started my first job – as an apprentice Business Admin. I work for an incredible company named Mighty Men Of Valour which supports and mentors children with disabilities, mental health issues or general behaviour issues.

I work in a little office with my two colleagues which are both lovely and help me out wherever they can 🙂

This job has helped me so much mentally. Before I was never able to speak on the phone- my anxiety took over me and I would just panic. It even got to the stage where Kyle had to order my take-away’s for me lol.  However, since I started working in the office and not having any choice but to speak on the phone, I am practically a professional on the phone lmao!!

And above all, this job has made me learn so many new skills! I have interviewed people, created spreadsheets, invoices etc… I hate learning new things because that means I am bad at them. But, this job just motivated me to get off my backside, I knew I had to choice but to do the job well otherwise kids would go without support workers or somebody would be paid wrong.

It is hard work – TOTALLY. But I do love my first job… I go to college once a week for a few hours (which I am paid for :p) which is great fun as well, I have met a few lovely people who are in the exact same spot as me!

Another positive is the money – of course – as well. I have FINALLY brought my own clothes with my hard worked money and not birthday money. I have brought so many different clothes that I have needed so for so long. I have pratically spent all my first pay on food and clothes, but I do not regret it haha.

I know this is a short little blog but I thought you lot deserve a little life update, sorry for being too busy for my blog but I will try to come back bigger and better 🙂

Thank you for reading – let me know in the comments if you have any questions / feedback.

Love, Sam xo

 

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Ten unusual things about me!

Hey guys! I hope you enjoy reading this post 🙂

A huge thank you to Nicola for tagging me in 10 unusual things about me! You can find her blog post here. This was loads of fun to write, I tag: Fiona, Steph, Catherine.

  1. I hallucinate at night if I don’t take my sleeping tablets, I hallucinated a spider in my room and slept on the sofa for a whole week.
  2. I am a huge BRATZ fan, especially the PS2 games of it! With my birthday money I might buy a PS2 haha!
  3. Teen mom is my guilty pleasure, I could watch it alllllll day…
  4. I love watching Sims 4 videos of houses being built.
  5. Winter is my favourite time of year, I love wearing hoodies and leggings all day with blankets, waiting for Christmas to arrive.
  6. I used to be the biggest One Direction and Take That fan!
  7. Neutral colours are my favourite with decorating, however I have been trying to use more bright colours such as blue and yellow to be more risky!
  8. I love babies! The whole process of pregnancy and birth is fascinating to me, I have constant baby fever haha.
  9. Friends (the show) is the BEST! I can not even count how many times I have watched the show! I went to FriendsFest last year, it was so good I am going again on the 25th this month!
  10. I would love to be into fitness and exercise but with my arms going dead, quick (for an unknown reason), and my diet being terrible I really don’t see the point…

Thank you for reading ❤

Sam xo

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Moving from a Size 12 to a Size 14

Before I say anything I just want to say: whatever size you are, you are beautiful, size does not change who you are in any way.

I have always been one to be on the skinnier side, even as a child. However, when I started taking the pill I started putting on weight quickly, I went from a size 10 to a size 12 and now I’m a size 14, as much as I love having curves but going up in sizes has killed my confidence hugely, it has even come to the stage where I’ve been told to lose weight as ‘chub don’t suit me’ (don’t you worry I fought back) but I just remember going home and just crying with those words going though my head. Even at school people would mention how I have put weight on quickly and how my eating habits must be unhealthy, of course I don’t eat as good as I’m supposed to but I actually eat less than I did when I was a size 10!

Not only have I had to throw away ALL my clothes away, I have had to spend so much money just to have clothes to fit me and actually feel comfortable, however I LOVE my wardrobe now as it is just full of colour now and it just makes me happy! When I was in the awkward stage of in between size 12 and 14, I used to lash out as none of my clothes fit and just end up being overwhelmed which ends up with my in tears and end up having argument with my boyfriend or mum.

I do love the fact I have curves but changing size so quickly has demolished my confidence hugely, curves are beautiful I know, but sometimes when I look in the mirror I just hate what I see and cancel my plans so I don’t have to go outside. Plus with having anxiety I am wary of what people think of me already but by having a bit of my leg showing or the top of my arms showing I’m so conscious of what people think of me. I HATE wearing shorts out as my stretch marks rub together and cause so much unnecessary pain that I literally have to walk like I have had an accident lol.

I know this is me just ranting on about how much I dislike my own body, but I am trying to love myself and if you have problems with your own body then try as well! I know it is hard, trust me, but if your unhappy with your body make sure you are the best person you can be and try to have a positive mental attitude.

Yes I believe stretch marks are beautiful- but they hurt as hell on my body.

Yes I believe curves are beautiful- its just my body I dislike.

Yes we are all beautiful- no matter the size, gender etc

Yes you are all the best- if anyone takes any offense to what I have said, I apologise, this is an honest opinion on how I feel about MY body.

Thank you for reading ❤

Sam xo

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Happiness Planner

I got treated by my other half to a 100 day happiness planner! It was £20.00 which I think is pretty decent for how pretty and useful it is, they had a huge range of different colours to choose from (which was the hardest decision ever as they were all so lovely!) the colour choices are;

  • Aqua / Gold / Matte
  • Pink / Gold / Matte 
  • Lavender / Gold / Matte 
  • Black / Gold / Matte 
  • Navy / Gold / Matte
  • Blush / Silver / Matte
  • Midnight Navy / Silver / Matte
  • Sage / Silver / Matte
  • Turquoise / Rose Gold / Luxe
  • Black / Rose Gold / Luxe
  • White / Rose Gold / Luxe 

After lots of contemplating I decided to go with Blush / Silver / Matte! I believe it only took 3 working days to arrive, when I got home from my holiday I immediately opened the package and fell in love, even though it was 4am in the morning I needed to take photos of this planner ready to blog about!

Here are some pictures I took of the planner, my favourite part of the planner is the section were it says 26 rules to live by for a happier and more fulfilling life. This really helped me because I personally struggle with just sitting on my backside all day and just overthinking every little thing that is upcoming and just end up dropping out of everything, this part of the planner for starters gives me something to read over and over again to persuade myself how to be more positive but also give me different alternatives on how to be more happier( for example if I cant ‘do what I love‘ I can ‘spend time with nature‘)

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I am deeply in love with this planner and can not wait to start using it and challenge myself to write every day. I absolutely love stationary I just need to start using it more haha.

Thank you for reading!

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Much love! Sam xo

A-Z

Was struggling for a blog post so I copied @steffsjourney idea of facts about me in alphabetical order! I hope you enjoy ☺️

A- Aimie, my younger middle sister, she is hilarious, chilled back and couldn’t care less about other people’s opinion. She’s a doll❤️

B- Blue, I am a Chelsea supporter💙

C- Cookies are my favourite snack when I’m feeling down🍪

D- Dark Chocolate, I despise it🤢

E- Elephants are one of my favourite animals ever. They are so big and scary looking but so childish and adorable underneath!🐘

F- Feet, I have a thing about not liking feet, they seriously creep me out! I’ve only just started not wearing socks because of this heat!👣

G- Goals, I love setting goals. I’m a checklist kinda girl!✍️

H- Heat, I can’t get enough of it! I love the sun but I always burn then peel, I don’t even tan ☀️

I- Igloo, one year when it was snowing bad, my neighbours and I made a really big igloo! It was incredibly fun…☃️

J- Jellyfish, I am speechless when it comes to physically seeing jellyfish, they are so majestic and beautiful!

K- Kacie, my youngest sister! She is confident, beautiful and insanely emotional! She’s the bestest <3❤️

L- Love, Kyle is an absolute darling and saved me. I can’t thank him enough for loving me just as much as I love him.💝

M- MONKEYS!!! I love them!!🐵

N- Nuggets, I literally could eat McDonald’s nuggets all day everydayyyyyy

O- Oldest. I am the oldest sibling! So I’m basically a second parent to Aimie and Kacie😂

P- Parents, they do my nut in, but they can be funny at times👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

Q- Questions, I ask way too many. I’m a very curious person!

R- Rainbows, gay pride is awesome!🌈

S- Samantha is my real name, I hate it so much🤦‍♀️

T- Tokyo, I would love to visit Tokyo!

U- Unique, I’ve had big hiccups in life with friends, family, school: but I have never changed who I am as a person, I think that is pretty unique!🙌

V- Vampires, me and my Twinny (auntie) love watching the Twlight movies, we are proper geeks for it!

W- Work, my dream is to become a prison officer, I’ve wanted to be one since I was little!🤝

X- X-rays, from what I can remember I’ve had one and I hate it! My anxiety was so bad when waiting for the results.

Y- Yogurts with oats, I could eat them all day with strawberries! 🍓

Z- Zebras, my friend from school always had arguments with me as he genuinely didn’t believe zebras were real!🦓

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know a few random facts about yourself!

Have a wonderful day

Sam xo

5 ways on how to grow on Twitter!

I think it is a well known fact that growing on Twitter is 100 times easier than Instagram. So I thought I could write on how to grow on Twitter, whilst being a blogger!

1- Staying Active! 

Whilst going through my exams it was practically impossible to stay on top of my blogs, social media and revise, I lost a lot of followers. However, as I recently reached 1000 followers I find it easier to communicate with others. I understand it is hard when you little followers however, being persistent will help you gain big time!

2- Engaging with your followers!

Asking your followers a question or two in a post will make your followers feel like you genuinely care and want to communicate with them. I usually begin to unfollow those who use social media just to gain popularity, I prefer to follow genuine people who will engage with me and involve their followers.

3- Give Feedback! 

When somebody posts about there blog, spend the time reading it carefully and give feedback on twitter, this will show that you really just want to help people out (majority of the time bloggers will return the favour because the blogging community is so lovely!)

4- Don’t overthink what you write!

I overthink everything, but if you just write how you feel, people will realise when you are being fake and real… If you write your honest opinion others will trust you when asking for advice!

5- Be Kind!

Remember an opinion can not be wrong, you can disagree but somebody’s opinion can’t be wrong. For example, if somebody writes a political view and you don’t agree with it there is no need to be unkind about their beliefs. I personally love when somebody challenges my opinion as I love a good debate, but arguing with somebody over their own tweet/blog is just a waste of time and will make you gain a negative reputation.

I hope this helped somebody out there haha, thank you for reading ❤

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Sam xo