Finishing School

I have finished the longest chapter in my life!! I started school when I was 2 years old, I went to quite a crappy primary school, education wise, but I had the best memories there. My nan was working in the school the whole way with me so I always had an escape room if I needed to have some alone time. But, I also had really funny and great teachers along the way. Instead of teaching their students knowledge the school decided to teach us common sense and how to adapt to new surroundings, I wouldn’t have it any other way. However my school life wasn’t always perfect…

When I went into high school I became popular quite quickly, I met new people and learnt to get along with practically everyone. I was the naughty kid for the first few years. Whereas, when I reached the mid point of year 9/ beginning of year 10, I suffered from bullying. I got bullied for having bad skin and for being me. I soon realised I had anxiety soon after as I didn’t want to be at home or at school. When I went to the doctor they automatically said I’ve always had anxiety and it has basically just been a ticking bomb ready to explode. At this point I done things I shouldn’t of done but I knew I had no escape.

School has changed me big time, at first I was the big popular girl that was loved by everyone then I turned into the girl that was alone and hated herself. Even though I still get these self hatred thoughts on the daily, I have learnt on how to control them and learn not to hurt myself just because anxiety is starting up again.

For anyone who hasn’t finished school, don’t assume every high school life is like this because it isn’t, I was just unlucky at the end. I loved school up until a certain point, but there is no way on earth was I letting bad events affect my grades and my future. I practically told everyone to wind their neck in so I can put myself first instead of their pettiness.

However, now that I finished school I feel so more relieved now! I won’t miss the majority of people in my year but I will miss the teachers and staff that stuck by my side day in and out just to make sure I was healthy and happy. Teachers even said to me if I can’t put education first its okay, as long as I’m healthy and happy that’s all they care about… I could not of asked for better teachers and staff at my school!

If you have ever been bullied or currently is, speak to someone. Don’t let the low lives pull you down because you are the big guy that is obviously affecting them more as they are wasting their time belittling you! You are the bigger person!

Thank you for reading, I didn’t want this post to be all sad but this was my school life.

Sam xo

 

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Favourite Childhood Memories

Above | is a picture of me and my (middle) little sister, I didn’t even know this photo existed until I wrote this blog!

I have so many childhood memories but the one I will always remember is my youngest memory (I was 4 years old, yes 4!)  is when my whole family went to Turkey. My granddad done this thing where he would put me and my cousins on this big blue float on the swimming pool and sing this catchy song whilst pushing round the pool, and out of no where he would tip the float over! His laugh was the best… He would push us off as soon as we weren’t expecting it, he was always sneaky!

He was like a second dad to me, I always went round there for a cup of tea and cake whenever I needed to speak to him. He would always tell me to grow up and just get on with it. He has made me into the person I am today, he made me; stubborn, determined and capable to overcome problems. Unfortunately my Grandad lost his battle to cancer in 2014. He was a happy man that died with the people that meant the most to him around him. Sadly, I was stuck at home making dinner and I remember my reaction was dropping a pan and going on full rage. It took a few minutes to replace the anger with sadness but I now know that he is always looking over me singing that stupid catchy song that will always be in the back of my mind!

I don’t want this to be an upsetting blog as in my mind turning the sadness into positivity and happiness is what my Grandad would of wanted. If he could, he would of told everyone to stop crying and have a cup of tea! As much as I miss him and our amazing memories together, I appreciate the time I had with him and that I was the luckiest girl alive to have the best granddad ever!

Grandad George

My second favourite memory is when my mum, dad, sisters and I went to these woods with my mums best-friend Sally and her kids went to these woods and had a picnic. I remember we all went and sat on the field and it was a beautiful day out, but it just started pouring down in rain, I remember us all grabbing the food and legging it to the car. Us kids still wanted to feed the ducks, even in the rain, so we got back out and ran to the ducks and gave them food. I’m not sure why but the memory always brings a smile to my face if not laughter.

My last favourite memory is going to my first ever concert. It was a Take That one, and it was bloody amazing! I was 6/7 years old and I was dancing and singing my head of to their songs. Ever since that concert I love going to concerts even now, the adrenaline rush that you get from concerts is completely unique and feels amazing. Plus the sleep after the concert is the best sleep ever!

I hope you all know me a little bit better! These are my favourite childhood memories.

Love Sam xo

June Goals!

June is a huge month for me! I finish high school and my two year anniversary! As June is such a big month for me which I know is just going to be perfect, I have decided all my goals will be to celebrate the last 5 years of my life!

  • Say thank you to every teacher, mentor, counsellor and friend I have had that has helped me through my eventful (to say the least) years at high school.
  • Try and reach 80 followers on my blog! I have 45 at the moment and I love every single one of you for supporting me!
  • Reach 800 followers on twitter! I want to meet new bloggers and be able to get along with all different kinds of people 🙂
  • Read more blogs! I have been getting better at reading other blogs but it is very hard to read so many blogs, write your own blogs and revise… However as I finish school this month I can chuck revision of the list and focus on my blog more!!
  • To be happy, I have been so stressed in May because of exams, leg injury and just generally being more anxious. So I have to make all the negativity into positivity and to be more happy!

Be Happy

These are my June Goals! I hope you enjoyed reading 🙂

Sam xo

Real Neat Blog Award

The beautiful LifeWithNeve has nominated me for the Real Neat Blog Award! Go follow her blogs and social media (links in her blog) as she is wonderful 🙂 

Real Neat Blog Award

The Rules: 

  • Put the award logo on your blog
  • Answer the 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
  • Thank the people that nominated you, linking to their blogs
  • Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking their blogs
  • Let them know you nominated them, by commenting on their blog or tagging them on twitter.

Questions: 

What is your favourite part about blogging? 

Being able to communicate with new people all over the world! I love meeting new people and blogging is the best way because it is easier to get to know everybody’s personality!

Who are your favourite bloggers?

Steff (@steffs_journey)

Anita  (@atinablogs)

Nicola  (@nicshealthylife)

Livvy (@seabreezecorner)

What is your biggest pet peeve? 

People eating with their mouth open! I get so angry when I hear people eat whilst slapping their lips or seeing the food in their mouth. It’s mank…

What TV character grinds your gears the most? 

Pretty much all the characters from 13 Reasons Why! I love the show so much but the show is so unrealistic it proper twists my brain! Nobody talks like they do in that show, if anything it makes me laugh big time.

Your top twitter tip! 

STAY ACTIVE! I have gained followers quick by just letting people know what is happening or how I’m feeling or asking for advice, twitter followers love to be involved.

Why you blog about what you do! 

I blog about everything, mostly to calm my anxiety and to open my mind up.

Your favourite feature about yourself. 

Not to sound big headed, but I love my hair! My hair is so silky and smooth. When I wash my hair it dries in under an hour, I don’t have to brush my hair everyday (depends on how much of a fidget I am during the night lol)

My Questions: 

  1. Why do you love blogging so much?
  2. What is your favourite TV series?
  3. What is your favourite social media?
  4. Has your social media increased your self confidence?
  5. What movie could you forever keep watching over and over again?
  6. How do you keep positive?
  7. Do you have a healthy eating plan?

My nominees: 

Steff 

Nicola 

Livvy 

This or That Challenge

My beautiful mum ( Steff  ) has nominated me for the this or that challenge! My mum has supported me through everything and adores that we can bond over blogging, so if you aren’t following her, give her a follow because I’m sure she will make you laugh some how 🙂 

Question 1: Shower in the morning or evening?

I prefer both, but to be honest morning. Only because I think it is a good way to start the day, all clean and refreshed! Also means it wakes me up because I’m not a morning person lol!

Question 2: City centre or close to nature?

City, as much as I love nature I have the worst hay fever going! Plus with the city there are more shops to buy clothes from so its a win-win situation!

Question 3: Bright colours or neutrals?

I LOVEEEEE BRIGHT COLOURS! Even though my room is greys and silvers… if I could have my perfect room it would be so colourful! But not too colourful that it makes me dizzy haha!

Question 4: Spring or Autumn?

Spring! Only because it means the summer is close 🙂

Question 5: Mint or cinnamon?

Mint by far! I like cinnamon but too much of it makes me feel a bit icky, and plus mint smells banging!

Question 6: Planned or spontaneous?

PLANNED! I’m exactly like my madre! We both have to have everything planned otherwise we feel so on edge.

Question 7: A movie at home or at the cinema?

At home, because there is no such thing better than being in the comfort of your own home, plus I can not deal with people eating!

Question 8: Espresso or latte?

Latte, I’ve never tried an espresso so sort of have no choice haha.

Question 9: Hugs or kisses?

Kisses, hugs you can do with anyone, but kisses are so much more passionate and mean so much more!

Question 10: spicy or mild food?

Spicy. I live for spicy food! I was ill for a week or two and I needed nice taste in my mouth instead of vomit (ew) so I had a chilli flake LOL!

Question 11: Leather or lace?

Lace, leather is so uncomfortable! At least with lace it is comfy and looks good at the same time, leather looks good but is so uncomfortable, for me anyways!

Question 12: Overdressed or underdressed?

Underdressed, I do not dress up for any occasion other than a wedding, I’m either in jeans, leggings, shorts or sweatpants. Dresses and skirts are for weddings only haha.

Question 13: Adventure or comfort?

Adventure, I don’t do it enough but I love exploring new places. When me and my nan go on walks with the dogs I love it because we usually go into the woods. I remember when I was about 7 years old me and my nan went into the woods and saw a whole family of deers running through the woods, ever since then I have loved walking in the woods!

Question 14: TV Series or movie?

TV Series, I watch TV Series everyday because I feel like I can get involved so much more!

Question 15: Rock or Country music?

Neither, I don’t listen to either genre. I love pop mostly.

Question 16: Red or white wine?

Both! I drink anything to be honest LOL! Although I drink red more than white!

Question 17: Working alone or in a team?

Alone, only because I know if anything is wrong its my fault, as when working in a team its hard to pin point how to improve when there is too many people working on a project.

Question 18: Swimming or sunbathing?

Why sunbathe when you can get a better tan when swimming! Have fun and tan! Easiest question on here I think haha!

Question 19: Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

The fat person within me is saying fast food! As unhealthy and bad it is, I could always eat McDonald’s or a kebab!

Question 20: Matched or mismatched socks?

Matched! OCD goes insane when socks aren’t matching, even if they aren’t on my feet lol!

Question 21: Dancing or singing?

Singing, I have always had a passion for singing as it lets out my emotions so much more than dancing does. But dancing is hella fun!

Question 22: Phone or the internet?

Internet, what is the point of a phone without internet? I mean you can phone and message on pretty ,much all social media so phones are useless with internet around.

I hope you enjoyed reading my answers! Here are the people I challenge to answer these questions, if you want to change the questions or change it up a bit then feel free! 

Kimberly 

Mia

Nicola 

Em

Have a good day everyone, thank you for reading! 

Sam xo 

How I stay positive!

I’m backkkk 🙂 I have finally had time to sit down and read a blog! So I hope you enjoy 🙂

As someone with anxiety I needed to find ways to stay positive, so after a few months of learning what works for me I decided it might help others that don’t know how to stay positive yet, so I hope this helps!

Playing games: 

It is a good distraction as all the hard work and concentration is wicked to keep all the negative thoughts away. Whether playing games is online or on board games, I find it very helpful.

Working: 

I have slight OCD, I love having everything in the right place and making work seem pretty and colourful. When I complete the work I feel a huge sense of relief as I know I’ve worked hard and relaxed my OCD as well.

Netflix: 

I always find it really relaxing when I watch a really intense show or movie of Netflix, I usually watch a serial drama that take my mind off things really quickly.

Alone time: 

Sometimes all a girl needs is some alone time! Sit in a room, read a book, do some breathing exercises. It helps you concentrate on your breathing and what’s happening in a book instead of all the negative thoughts that are trying to overpower you!

Learn that you are worth it: 

Once you convince yourself that you don’t deserve the negative thoughts and that you are worth the positivity in life. The negative thoughts will have no power over you! Tell the negative thoughts that they suck and that you can do hundred times better!

Remember everybody has bad days: 

Personally I feel like I’m the only person who has bad days when I have bad thoughts, however bad days are normal! Having a day where you need some time for yourself instead of caring for others is okay!

I hope this helps at least someone out there because that was my aim… Have a wicked day and hope you all have nothing but positive thoughts 🙂

Why I started blogging…

I started blogging for a variety of reasons, but the main reason is to get things off my chest. With anxiety constantly in my mind I have to keep a lot of different things that are building up and have been overtime. But here are the specific reasons:

  • To meet new people! – The blogging community has been so welcoming it is unbelievable! I have been so stressed recently with my exams but all of you have pulled me up and cheered me up massively, I hope I can do the same to you all 🙂
  • Like I said above; anxiety. -Anxiety plays a huge part on why I started blogging. I have so much to say and blogging is a effective way of letting out all the emotions and ideas I have gained over time.
  • To make use of time – The majority of my time is either revising, eating or sleeping. I needed another hobby big time, I felt myself decaying with boredom I needed a unique hobby that none of my friends do so I can be separate and have something to do on my own, I am loving it so far!
  • To have purpose- I felt like such a normal average kid, I did no after school club or anything special. I needed a purpose! I felt like such waste of space, that I was doing nothing special for myself or anyone else. Blogging has made me have a reason to get up in the morning and remember that I can do something useful and something that makes me happy.

I just want to say a huge thank you for accepting me into the blogging community and for accepting me for who I am, I feel like I have so much lifted off my shoulders. So thank you again and I appreciate it so much! 🙂

Thank You